she can take the road she's never known.

Today is National Coming Out Day. As a straight ally, it’s my job to come out everyday and speak out for LGBT equality. Normally, I only speak up to specific people… That fool who called a trans person a “he/she”, or that homophobe who called a gay person a “fag”, or that pathetic excuse of a parent who threatened to disown their child if they ever came out to them. Today, I’m getting up on my soap box and speaking up to everyone.

I’m Chrissy. I’m a straight girl. And, baby, I was born this way. I was born with a female mentality and a female body. I was born only with the ability to be physically and emotionally attracted to males, and I’m very much in love with my boyfriend. I was not born with a switch that I could flip if I ever got bored and wanted to be attracted to females instead. I love dresses, eye shadow and nail polish, the color pink, undies from Victoria’s Secret, sweet-smelling hand santizers, and the occassional romance movie… Typical girly things. This is me. I can not change it, and I would not want to change it. Accept me or don’t, but I’m still not going away.

Some men are born gay. Typically, they are born in male bodies with typical male mentalities, except they were born with only the ability to be physically and emotionally attracted to other males. They fall in love with their boyfriends just like I fell in love with mine. It is never safe to assume that all gay men are feminine. (Trust me, I know plenty of gay men who would rather not let me paint their nails, shop with me in Victoria’s Secret, or put on my red velvet cake scented hand sanitizer.) Just like straight men, most gay men probably like to shop in the men’s department in the mall, wear athletic sneakers, and bathe in something that will not make them smell like Strawberry Fields.

Some women are born lesbian, and may even also use the term ‘gay’ to identify themselves. Typically, these woman are born in female bodies with female mentalities, except they were born with only they ability to be physically and emotionally attracted to other females. Again, they fall in love just the same. It is never safe to assume that all lesbians are butch. Some of them may prefer to have more of a masculine appearance, and some of them may prefer to have long, flowing hair, fake eyelashes, and Prada bags. How they physically present themselves is up to them. Just like me, and everyone else, they were not born with a switch that they can flip in order to be attracted to the opposite sex instead.

Some people are born bi-sexual. This means they have the ablitity to be attracted to both males and females. Some people, I’ve recently learned, are even born pan-sexual, which means that they have the ability to be attracted to any human being, regardless if they are male, female, transgendered, asexual, gay, straight, bi-sexual, or anything in between.

Believe it or not, some people are even born asexual, meaning that they are not attracted to anyone at all.

Some people are even born with gender dysphoria, or they may use the term gender indenity disorder. Lately, I’ve been learning a lot about this through Chaz Bono, who you may have noticed I’ve been supporting immensely as he competes on Dancing With the Stars. It’s something that I’m still trying to understand a hundred percent myself, but here’s what I can tell you: People who are born with gender dysphoria do not have a gender mentality that matches up with their assigned sex. For example, Chaz Bono (who was born Chastity Bono) was born in a female body. He looked like a girl, talked like a girl, and his parents dressed him like a girl. However, in his mind, Chaz has never felt like a female. He has always had the mentality of a man. Basically, he was trapped in a body that he knew he didn’t belong in. Finally, at the age of 40, he underwent gender reassignment surgery and is nowlegally a male. When you are speaking of Chaz, you should always refer to him as ‘him’ or ‘he’.

We all know from a very young age whether or not we are male or female. This is why, when we are young, we either chose to play with Barbies, or we chose to play with toy trucks. We either liked to dress up as cowboys for Halloween, or we liked to dress up as ballerinas. We knew whether or not we wanted to play in mommy’s make-up, or we preferred to never let it touch our face. People with gender dysphoria recognize at a young age that they do not feel like the sex they were assigned at birth. No one wakes up one day and suddenly says to themselves, ‘Hmm. I think I’ll get a sex change today. That sounds like fun.’ It is not typically something that people want to do, but rather, something they feel like they have to do in order to be comfortable living their lives. In the same way, I could not wake up tomorrow and say to myself, ‘Hmm, I think I’ll be a lesbian today’ or a gay person would not wake up tomorrow and say to themselves, ‘Hmm, I think I’ll be straight today.’ These are simply the ways we were born, and they can not be changed. You can not talk a gay person into being straight, a straight person into being gay, or a trans person into “just sucking it up and accept what God gave you”. It doesn’t work that way.

It is neveracceptable to refer to a trans person as a “he/she” or an “it”. I can not stess this enough. I’ve been hearing the terms “he/she” and “it” so much lately, it makes me sick. These people are human beings who were simply born in the wrong bodies, so they did something about it. Trans people deserve respect just like anyone else, and they deserve to be referred to by whatever they identify as. If there is something you don’t understand about their gender identity or sexuality, ask questions, but do it respectfully. They would rather have your understanding than your ignorance. It’s also important to understand that not everyone with gender dysphoria undergoes gender reassignment surgery, which could be for a number of reasons (age, cost, health issues, etc.), but it is still important that we refer to them by whichever pronoun they wish to be indentified as, regardless of what’s going on underneath their clothes.

Baby, we are born this way. Male, female, transgender, genderqueer, genderless, gay, straight, bi-sexual, pan-sexual, asexual, transvestite, and everything in between. They are so many shades of grey. The world is not so black and white. Regardless of what our sexuality is or what our gender identity is, we all have one thing in common: We are all human beings, so let’s all have some respect for each other.